Sunday, May 29, 2011

6:23 PM - ,,,,,,,,,, No comments

Crossroads, stop signs and the hurtles in life.

With the impending doom of not having an "actual" summer I feel it's only appropriate to record such a pivotal moment in my life. Not only is this the only four months of my life between May and September that I will not be spending under the sun or roaming around in foreign countries, but, it's also "THE" four months that may or may not determine my semi-short to long term future. Might seem like unnecessary pressure to put on myself, but when we're talking about writing the MCATs the word "pressure" can hardly be just associated with it... it seems every time the topic of writing the Medical College Admission Test comes up, the word pressure or stress is either implied or physically used in the same sentence. So why the extra pressure? that's a mysterious question I've been asking myself for the past few weeks. In efforts solve this mystery, I feel the past year of my life has become a puzzle to the future of my career not only academically, but also as a person. It seems the pieces to the puzzle aren't quite in the right place, yet...

Before university, I had set a goal for myself that probably every kid in science hopes to achieve. Medical School. This goal thanks to my "wonderful" academic achievements is quickly becoming a dream. In rendition to my past year in university, I feel that I've achieved absolutely nothing. Not only were my marks inconsistent with my expectations, but I don't feel I've matured enough as an adult to face the realities beyond the bubble of university. Ending the second year towards the first step of my future was slightly more depressing than I had planned, fortunately all is not lost... I hope.

Here comes the sun. Despite the fact I'm writing this on a day where the Sun can only be assumed is beyond the thick gray overcast skies I feel the summer brings a shimmer of hope. Although my first two years in University was a complete bust, I am still looking forward to the last four years of Science and the MCAT exam to hopefully turn the tables of my reality. With every new goal comes renewed determination, and with new determination there is still the possibility of success and personal growth. I feel as if the return to summer and in expansion the return from London Ontario to Toronto feels like the pages of a blank colouring book slowly being filled with vivid colours. Progress must be made, and by god [in reference to the previous metaphor] I hope I colour within the lines of the book........... (So my metaphor's aren't very strong, I guess it's a habit left from the creative writing class I took last year).

Believing in god or even in my own abilities has always been a hurtle for me, however, I have always believed in a simple philosophy; what's in the past is carved in stone, however, the future is still being written. How you write your future determines who you are, what you'll become, and the things you will do.

NOTE TO SELF: Rewrite this post with more polish.

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